Scenario: You've been dating someone for a month or two, but the 'exclusivity' conversation hasn't come up....and you're itching to know where the relationship is headed.
Your partner might also be wondering where things are going...but the 'right time' hasn't come up yet. Timing isn't one-size-fits-all....so there is no specific time set for when this conversation needs to happen. If both of you are happy with where things are, then it's all good! But if you've got questions (and you want to be exclusive), your questions deserve to be answered.
First, let's disregard gender roles. Why? Because either partner has the right to ask and/or know where things are headed- even though societal conditioning may have taught us that men should be the ones to introduce the topic. (Kind of like how men are traditionally the ones to pop the question and put a ring on it.)
The point is, you deserve to know where the other person stands - because knowing for sure is the quickest way to getting what you want.
Benefits of bringing up the conversation:
-Life is short! Nobody got time to waste! Having the conversation - no matter what the outcome - is like ripping a bandaid off (very necessary)! Get the tough topic out of the way so you can make it official, or continue looking for the perfect situation that gives you everything you want, and nothing less.
-Bringing up an intimidating subject, while putting yourself in a very vulnerable position - is an amazing opportunity to grow. Whether it's asking for a raise, or working through conflict in a future relationship, this is the chance to step into your power and enhance your communication skills.
-Your partner might be assuming that you're already in a monogamous relationship...even if the conversation was never had! Asking directly will clear up any assumptions, remove the wondering and/or undue stress. (Best case scenario!)
Disregard the assumption that you're too "clingy" or "demanding" by asking for what you want in the current relationship. Your intention is everything - and the truth is, there is no shame in being a direct woman who knows exactly what she's after.
Ways to approach:
...If you don't take yourself too seriously: "I realllly like you...can we be exclusive?"
...If you're super direct, and you're seeing someone else: "Are we exclusive? If so, I have a date that I need to cancel next week."
...If you're super PC: "Just so I am clear, where do we stand as far as our status... so we can ensure there are no misunderstandings?"
...If you're super chill: "I'm really enjoying my time with you, and I wanted to say that I'm not seeing anyone else."
They (or you) don't want to be exclusive? Cool - NEXT! Coming to a conclusion is a respectful way to honor both people's big-picture goals, and anything else is pretty much a waste of time! (We say this because we've had MANY relationships that weren't aligned with our hearts, and should have ended much sooner!) Everyone deserves the hottest, most fulfilling long-term romance (if that's what they desire)...remove anything that stands in your way and keep on keepin' on, until you find it.